Asking for help was one of the hardest parts of my recovery.
I didn’t want to be a burden.
I didn’t want to seem weak.
And honestly, I didn’t even know how to ask sometimes.
When you’ve gone through something traumatic, especially an RTA, there’s this strange pressure to “power through.” You tell yourself, I’ll manage, even when you’re completely overwhelmed. But the truth is: you’re not meant to do this alone.
Why Asking Feels So Hard
After the accident, I lost more than just mobility. I lost a sense of control.
Asking for help felt like giving up what little I had left.
And even when help was offered?
I’d smile politely and say, “I’m fine.”
Because receiving help can feel just as vulnerable as asking for it.
But here’s what I learned:
Healing isn’t just about independence. It’s also about connection.
What Help Actually Looked Like for Me
It wasn’t dramatic.
It wasn’t someone swooping in to “save” me.
It was little things, offered with kindness, that made the biggest difference.
A friend who did my shopping without asking – even though I was capable of getting it done.
Someone who sent me flowers “thinking of you” when I disappeared for a week because I just felt overwhelmed.
A physio who didn’t just treat my injury, but treated me like a whole person and was prepared to listen.
Saying yes when someone offered a lift, even if I could technically make it on my own.
“These moments didn’t fix everything, but they reminded me I wasn’t alone.”
Letting Go of the “I Should Be Able To” Story
I had to unlearn a lot of things:
- That strength means doing everything yourself
- That asking makes you dependent
- That accepting help means you’re failing
None of those beliefs were true. They were just barriers between me and the healing I deserved.
If You’re Struggling to Ask, Try This
Instead of saying “Can you help me?”, try:
- “Would you mind doing X while I rest?”
- “I’m feeling overwhelmed. Could we talk for a bit?”
- “I’m not coping as well as it looks, can I lean on you for a moment?”
It’s okay to be honest. It’s okay to receive.
Let people show up for you. Some of them are just waiting for the chance.
Final Thought: You Don’t Have to Be the Strong One All the Time
You’ve already been through enough. Let people carry a little bit of the load with you.
💬 Have you found it hard to ask for help during recovery? What made it easier, or harder? Let’s open the conversation.
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